¡!¡ ITS OFFICIAL !¡!

What is the meaning ... significance of the word "official" concerning relationship status?!

For me this word has been a joke, a weapon, curse & dream.  Its even been unofficial. (inside joke)

"Official" to people, mostly women, seem to solidify a relationship - (for blog purposes Ill always be speaking in a romantic reference when using the word relationship)

How does "OFFICIAL" solidify a romance?

-  Knowing he/she cares?
-  Letting others know their intention?
-  A sense of security?
-  Commitment?  Monogamy?

1.  Knowing he/she cares?
     Point Blank dudes & dames -  You should ALREADY know this!  Why would you be w/ someone who didn't care?  Who acted like a Carebear from hell?  Let alone (in my most manly sarcastic voice) "Make it Official?"

2.  Letting others know his/her intention?
     Well, if you think you're a secret .... you probably are!  Do you want or need others to validate you or your behaviors?  Should they be commenting on your "behind closed door actions?"  Can you say INSECURITY?  If you think voicing your relationship will make someone faithful ... THINK AGAIN!

3.  A sense of Security ...
     If you weren't secure in your choice of man or woman  -  do you believe him/her making it "official" will be true or real?  Will the "officialli-ness" be forced or fake.  If you are insecure - That is your cross to bare not someone else's.

4.  Commitment=Official           
     Monogamy=   Official
     #TRUSS this is most EFFED UP EXAMPLE of math I've or you will ever see!  Making something official will not make someone commit no more than getting pregnant will make you a good mother.  A person chooses commitment ... to be faithful its not a mathematical equation.

While I want "official" my mind contemplates what "official" actually means ... to me everything that solidifies a relationship is not found in the word or societys definition/action of OFFICIAL.  Its found in SO many things within the love a couple shares.  So if you have all those things that official would mean ..... what are we looking for?  How much more can this person give you?  What is the real conquest for "official" really about?

To love someone truly, deeply & purely does not require making it "official" by any definition .... it means making it officially unofficial ... or unofficially official.

Oh heavens .... Isnt there enough to worry about in romance without adding unnecessary crap to the mix?

- 1 love

--dedicated to & Inspired by Derrick Bass

Multiple Me's .... Mulitple You's

"Will the real Slim Shadey please stand up ?" - Eminem

We live in a society where many of us wear different "hats."  For instance, I am or have been, at any given time a mother, sister, daughter, employee, friend, lover, girlfriend or wife (and I'm sure the list could multiply itself like rabbits). 

To often though it seems like the person wearing these "hats" will take on a new personality.  "Mom" maybe more aggressive & assertive.  "Friend" more quiet, more willing to bend & "allow".  Sometimes even our name creates an image .... Or an expectation of behavior.

What happens though when that personality or expectation of behavior hurts you or other people?  Lies to other people?  Hides from those who love or care about you?  What if that "hat" is not healthy?  Will you recognize it? ... What if others point it out?

Heres the bottom line people.  We can talk till we are dead - if that person sees NOTHING wrong ... No error in the behavior .... Its not going to change. 

When someone shows you who they are believe them!  Stop fighting the cosmic forces, God, Mother Nature or which ever you believe.  When its revealed to you ... Take heed!  However, in case you miss the sign ... Oh rest assured you will see it again and again and again.

Having different roles in life are inevitable ... BUT the CORE of that "hat" should still be you!

-1 Love.

Test Driving vs. Commitment

ONE of the oldest questions in a womans mind .... 

-Why does a man cling, like its the last effin' meal, to his "single-ness" .... Risking @ times letting a good thing leave? -

Oh wait ... As I hear men groan from shore 2 shore .... "Cause if its a GOOD thing she'll wait?!" .... Ah, yes my beloveds ... She will .... But for how long??? ... There is YOUR dilemma.

I say to the men of this world ....
      Its NO longer "test driving" if you've made a copy of the keyes ... OR keep her parked in your garage!  Commit! - OR MOVE THE EFF' ON!

Just as much as you think its "wrong" for a woman to pressure you for committment ... Its wrong to know how a woman feels for you (whether she knows your feelings or not) and hold on for WHATEVER reason you are choosing for rationalization. 

And believe me .... You HAVE RESPONSIBILITY in allowing her to stay when your feelings are not matching up!

Say good-bye .... Close up shop!

Let a man who will love her come into her life by removing yourself.

See, when a woman decides to love ... She loves hard, strong, without boundaries, we blind ourselves to outside influences.  We submit completely ... ENTIRELY to THAT man.

As a man, created first, we (women) of your image ... A promise was made ... That man would love woman as his wife, to protect her, cherish & nurture her .... to guide her.

         !KEEP THIS PROMISE!

We (women) were created to love, to please, for companionship, devotion & admiration.

"Ladies," "Women" .... will ALWAYS reflect this behavior. ...

If you are a "Man" .... then act like the man that she can respect!

..... Or dont be mad when "single" is exactly what you get.